gas•tron•o•my

I have a sick fascination with airplane food.

Even though I was heading to Hong Kong, a veritable cornucopia of food, I was eagerly anticipating the on-board meal. As someone who prides herself on never wasting space on unworthy food, I’m a bit embarrassed by my enthusiasm for mile-high cuisine.

As the squeaky cart rolled my way, I awoke from my nap, adjusted my seat upward, pulled down my tray and waited for the steward to ask the magic question: pork or fish? “Fish!” I peppily declared. The Astronomer chose pork with dramatically less pep.

Fish proved to be a great choice. The hunks of flaky white fish were smothered in a classic Chinese sweet, gingery and spicy sauce. The ordinary white rice paired with the savory fish and the steamed bok choy made me feel like I was already in China. The carrots looked a bit iffy, so I passed them onto The Astronomer. Aren’t I muy generosa?

Sides included a warm roll with a pat of salted butter from New Zealand and a shrimp, lettuce and cucumber salad. The roll was excellent, while the salad was pretty, but boring (see: Mischa Barton). The first dessert, tiny pearls of tapioca topped with bland squares of JELLO, was mildly interesting. But the second dessert, a mini Kit Kat bar, was far tastier.

The Astronomer’s main was a slab of pig topped with scallions and a single chili. The chop sat on a bed of shrimp and saffron rice along with chunks of squash and some broccoli. My space was too precious to try the pork, but according to The Astronomer, the pork tasted much better than it looked. The rice and veggies weren’t bad. Like all saffron-infused dishes, the rice’s appearance shined brighter than its actual flavor. The Astronomer’s other side dishes were identical to mine.

We arrived in Hong Kong fueled and ready to pound the pavement in search of the best eats in town. If you thought Bangkok was impressive, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.

Timezones are crazy. I boarded a flight to Taiwan at LAX on the evening of the fourth and arrived in Saigon on the sixth. January fifth never existed! Crazy, right?

But enough talk about international datelines and whatnot, here’s what I ate on board my flight! Once again, EVA Airlines came through for me with high-fiber meals. However, they weren’t as tasty as those on my flight to the states because two of the three meals originated in LA. Everyone knows Taipei makes better high-fiber meals.

The first leg of my flight took off at 11 PM. Everyone on board was served a fourth meal soon after reaching our cruising altitude. My main entree was a gravy-topped steak, buttered noodles and steamed broccoli and carrots. Sides included a non-whole wheat roll (boo!), an iceberg salad with one cherry tomato and cucumber slices, and pieces of honeydew and cantaloupe. Dessert consisted of two Oreo cookies.

I passed on the steak because meat at midnight is worse than meat in the morning. The noodles were heavily buttered and decent, while the carrots and broccoli were mushy, but edible. I skipped the white bread because it lacked the fiber I had specifically requested. The fruit and veggies were fine; the honeydew and cantaloupe were surprisingly sweet for being out of season. As always, the Oreos did not disappoint.

A couple hours before reaching Taipei, we were served breakfast. I received a plain omelet with sauteed spinach and mushrooms and a roasted tomato. Sides included a mini-croissant, banana and strawberry yogurt and fresh fruit (pineapple and grapefruit).

The omelet would have been much tastier with the vegetables incorporated into it and a little Tabasco sauce. The fruit and yogurt were both fine. The warm and flaky croissant was easily the tastiest part of the meal. EVA Airlines outsources a mean croissant!

The meal served on my flight from Taipei to Saigon was excellent—Taipei really does know how to make tasty high-fiber fare. The main entree was curry chicken with brown rice and steamed celery and carrots. Sides included another white roll (boo!!) and some fresh fruit (guava, orange, grapefruit). For dessert I had three chocolate cookies with dried cranberries.

Everything but the white bread was spot on. The curry had just the right amount of spice and the chicken was very tender. The fruits were excellent and the cookies once again contained an unknown “crunch” factor that really made them delicious (and hopefully fibrous).

Those on board without special dietary needs, were given Russian strawberry ice cream for dessert. The stewardess gave me one too, even though I had already polished off three cookies. I never knew Russia imported ice cream. Can strawberries even grow in Russia? No matter. It was good. And it’s good to be back in Saigon!

How can a country that produces one of the world’s finest cuisines serve such crap on board their national carrier?

The Astronomer and I took a business trip last week to Da Nang for a staff meeting on board Vietnam Airlines. On the first leg of our flight, we were served a ham and tomato sandwich on a roll. What grossed me out the most was the thick and uneven mayonnaise application. Clearly, the sandwich was not made with love. The Astronomer and I both ate our snack-sized Kit Kat bars and tossed the sandwiches back in the box.

On our flight back to Saigon, we were served another ham sandwich—this one contained cucumber slices and wilted lettuce leaves. Once again, we couldn’t bring ourselves to take a bite. Sadly, there was no chocolate bar to entertain us.